Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Non-Elitist Review of Life: Littering.

I love nature, not to submit to my secret heritage as a Red Mage, but more because I love being in it. The smell of the trees, the fresh smell of snow runoff, and the sound of birds in the air. I live in the city, but since it's Colorado, my city is just a tiny suburb right next to OH MY GAWD, IS THAT FUCKING NATURE?!? Yes, I am just a mole on the otherwise mountainous terrain. What I'm getting at is that me and nature are still buddies.

Like most pals, we have a love hate relationship. I visit him whenever I can, and I'm aloud to litter all I like. Oh but not aluminum. Fuck that, if nature sees me litter a can, he'll make me go back and pick up every single bottle I've left in an inconspicuous location. 'Aluminum is expensive,' he says, looking down on me. 'You think this shit grows on trees!' Which I never quite understood why people are so adamant about recycling paper. It quite literally grows on trees, and if we left nature alone it would do the exact same thing as decomposing paper, so why soak it in a chemical bath, so that you can make it into cheap random supplies? I'd say that leaving a tree byproduct left in the way for another tree to take root is just life making its course.

But back to the point, littering. It's become a part of my life. If there's not a trash can near (because I do still like the place orderly) I throw that plastic willy-nillie. Paper also, but I think I've made my point about that. I think of it like this, "Hey nature, would you rather me burn this bottle and pollute the air? Or me throw it on the ground, as opposed to some guy I pay, comes and drags it to a big fuck off hole, and burries it. What do you think?"

"Well, gee, I guess when you put it that way, I'd choose two," and I couldn't agree more nature, and that's because neither of us is looking forward to death or taxes.

So why not throw it just any old place? Well because, nature still doesn't like it. Plastic rings are great for keeping your soda together, but that shit is hard for animals to break apart, and unless every animal is suddenly turned into a goat, the sparkly bags and small plastics aren't going to wreak havoc on their insides. So A) Only litter in a place that you know gets cleaned anyway, and even then, only if you know it's not a hassle. Janitors keep this place clean people, come on, work with them. And B) throwing out of a car is fun, but be cautious of those around you. Your sandwich wrapper is their giant tarp of Blindness. Plus, and I've picked up someone's trash that wasn't mine, in my front lawn before, so I keep littering in neighborhoods to a minimum.

So yeah, recyclings great when you're recycling aluminum. Seriously, when we lose that, we lose that for good. But when the choice is recycle and pollute or throw away and let rot, I'd choose rot. Sure, it'll never be gone in our lifetime, but it still will. This isn't nuclear waste, it will disappear over time. Everything will happen if you wait long enough.

So long, and have a happy lobotomy,
-Eliot Wolf

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