Rant #god knows what: God is simply a !@%^$[edited for your convenience]

So I noticed that I haven't updated in awhile. Perhaps it was the fact that my most recent post had a picture in it that has been recently 404'd from age. Maybe. Either way I would like to talk to you people about the first amendment, that little piece of paper that has made everyones life a living hell for the last two-hundred years.
So what is this magical amendment? The freedom of speach, press, and religion. Basically meaning you can say what you want when you want about who you want. But what's this? People have a problem with some of this? Yes, it will be no shock to some of you to find that many americans abuse this power, thus making it harder for the rest of us to say "Fuck the Government" without getting slapped in the face by the justice department.

As always, these political rants are fueled by a source stemming from my daily life. A recent classmate decided to break the silence in class by asking if anyone wanted to start a religious debate. He then pulled out some pro-creationism papers (because that's not creepy at all), and began reading them aloud. I have to admit they were funny and completely legit. But since we had a substitute instead of our usual business class nerd for a teacher, he was taken into the hall to get a stern talking to.

When he returned we were all kind of sad for him, but that was soon replaced with embarrasment because the kid had the nerve to state, loud and clear, "I wasn't aware that the First Amendment had been abolished."
Yes dear readers, this is a first in the (hopefully) long line of people who will be refered to as our Most Epic Face Palm's of the day; Because no word on the planet can express how dumb that was. My god man, I could feel the hot points that were that subs eyes on the back of his head, and I gotta tell you... it was toasty. This kid willingly put himself on a slab, and the rest of us were just waiting for somebody to shout "I smell a Supreme Court Case!"

Let me tell you all this, and hopefully you're listening. While the first amendment protects your right to say "God blows syphilitic goats," it also protects the religious fanactics when they say, "Shut the fuck up," and since they have gone to war for much less, please, for the love of our clown nosed god, shut the fuck up. There are enough exceptions to the first amendment for us to deal with as it is, we don't need you to set off the next Reich(I'm not even going to explain this one).


So dear readers, I think I have said enough. So as always, so long and have a happy lobotomy,
-Eliot Wolf

Rant #16: RE: To all...

Okay, I'm sorry to all those people who read this thing because I'm a happy go lucky person, who can be honest and truthful in a world full of mixed opinions and misinformation. I really am. I know it's been awhile since I really blogged for that purpose, but I really have to get this stuff out in the open. I do this because I feel it is my duty, and above all I believe the human race needs a person who call look into the world and say, "Well, isn't this a mess?"

My day started out with opening a slice of cheese. Harmless, unless you're me for on the cheese's plastic wrapper were the instructions "OPEN HERE." Dear god... really? Have we devolved to this form of stupidity where the simplest of dairy product protection is consumed by informing us how a simple plastic sheath works? This is the society that uses the Atom to signify its genius, but we don't trust the dangerousness of unprotected cheddar. I told myself at that unforgiving moment that today would be a day were I would have a lot to say.

Next thing I did was watch a thing on the boy scouts and, while they're a rant all to themselves, I will not divulge such matters yet. What pissed me off was the fact that the BSA (Boy Scouts of America for those of you who find intellectual stimuli out of reading cheese) is actually funded mostly by my archenemies the Mormons. Now I may not believe in religions like most people do, but that doesn't mean I hate them. What the Mormons are, and there are a lot of philosophy and religion professors who are behind me on this, is a cult. Flat out cult, they use their followers disrespectfully and are not put together by sound means. For those of you who are confused I rate Mormons along with Scientologists and cheese printings. I myself am what I refer to as a Fateist, meaning that every single moment of history, now and future have been predetermined and unchangeable. Even if you somehow do something that the church claims changed your life forever, it was planned. There is no changing the future, and dwelling on the past simply makes you sadder. I am also a Solipsist, which is a person who philosophically believes that they created the universe through their imagination. Now let me explain. I believe, as a Fateist, that we need to learn as much as we can from our lives and as such I am the only one capable of designing out a life that could thoroughly do this for me. Religion is fine, and on a moral standpoint I support it, but when it comes to them dwelling on a dead carpenter or a photo shy robe enthusiast, I have to say that they are wrong.

What I'm trying to tell you is that religion is just another way for there to be instruction in your life, and some people need that. Others however half to look around and question to solve the great mysteries. So now I want to tell you all, there will be more of these. I am not a one-rant man; I have many things to say. But please take my message and spread it on. I don't care if you believe in it; I don't even care if you understand it. What I care is that people start to look around and question the jiggly green stuff in front of them for what it really is, instead of accepting it as jell-o.


So once again so long readers, and have a happy lobotomy

-Eliot Wolf

Rant #15: Political Incoherance

So, you usuals might be wondering, "How can Eliot offend us any more?" and those of you new to this blog are probably thinking, "This guy is a jerk." Well, you're both wrong, I'm awsome and can always come up with new things to piss you off.

So let's get started. You've heard of Albino's right? The scientific definition being a lack of Melanin producing cells. Well have you heard that it is politically incorrect to call them albinos, and that it's better to call them "a person with albanism." So what they're doing is making it racist to say albino, as if they had some crazy civil rights movement (I have a dream...). Now in zoo's we have all seen the albino snakes, and albino lizards, but do we call them snakes with albanism? Isn't that racist, leaving a specific term for only animals? Where's FEMA when you need them? It's like calling a black guy "person with slightly larger melanocytes than whitey." Oh, but even "whitey" would be politically incorrect, so we have to say, "Person with smaller melanocytes than the person with larger melanocyes." I just spent ten words saying blackey is darker than whitey. Were any of you offended? No, because we are white and black. If you're an albino you're an albino. If you're black than you're black. If you're white, you're white. I AM REDMAN, HEAR ME ROAR!

So long, and have a happy lobotomy.
-Eliot Wolf (Red)




Tell your frieds about me and send me E-Mails
-wolfinatic@yahoo.com

Plus go to our Youtube Channel @
-www.youtube.com/warpedwolf38

See videos by Wolf Den Productions and Coming soon will be FALE University, Wolf Den Productions new vidcomic.

Rant #14: REcycling

Okay I have to admit, this isn't exactly a rant as much as it is a statement of facts. I used rant because I'm trying to make a brand name here.

So most of us recycle, either we feel good doing it, or we feel some sort of obligation to the world. Either way, it's something we do, but it really isn't that great. They say it saves resources, it saves energy, and it saves the planet.

For one, it doesn't save materials. We have 20% more trees on the earth now, than we did 90 years ago. That's because of tree farms, plantations specifically made for the production of paper. It really doesn't save any trees.

Another argument is that is saves energy. Again, it doesn't. It actually takes more energy to process plastic, than it does to just make a new one. Some of it even comes from the transport. It takes one truck to take the recyclables to another truck, that takes it to a crossroad that gives it to another truck. That is a lot of CO2 heading into the atmosphere. A lot of wasted energy.

Now the thing about it saving the earth was actually a lie spread in the educational pamphlet "An Agenda for Action," which was basically the archaic origin to Al Gore's PowerPoint. It said that America's landfills were filling up and dumping toxins into the ground. The fact is, landfills are surprisingly clean and most are converted into thriving parks, and recreational areas, once they're filled. They also are not filling up, no matter what anyone says. Even if we were to take 1000 years of garbage (220 tons a year), we would only have enough to cover 35 square miles, 200 feet high, with garbage. That, on the whole, is a small number.

Also, recycling causes more stress on the enviroment due to all the manufacturing reproduction of certain objects. In fact the only thing that is even worth recycling is soda cans, and that's because aluminum is actually a pretty expensive metal.

I'm not saying stop recycling, but still know your facts, and I know I'm missing stuff but if you're really interested enough to nag me do some research for yourself. You'll be surprised what you find.

So, anyway readers, I want to wish you a so long, and have a happy lobotomy.

-Eliot Wolf




Tell your frieds about me and send me E-Mails
-wolfinatic@yahoo.com

Plus go to our Youtube Channel @
-www.youtube.com/warpedwolf38

See videos by Wolf Den Productions and Coming soon will be FALE University, Wolf Den Productions new vidcomic.

Rant #13: Ignorance with Important Issues

Now when I say "Important Issues," I don't mean my usual Common Sense shit (or lack there of), I'm talking about actual issues here. Like global warming, Renewable resources, the economy, and even politics. I don't want to turn this into a polical, or even issues related, blog. But dammit I'm tired of this shit.

Global Warming has been an important issue for awhile now, from cars that run on other cars, to a Nobel Prize winning PowerPoint (I just died a little). Personally, I say let the f***ers burn. There is no way to save the world from this, the wheels are already in motion. The most we can do is move the problem down the line, which to my understanding is what we were trying to fix. The ignorance comes into play when companies attempt to create "Safe Fuels." You know like E85. Oh god wasn't that just so much of a sucess? No! It ruined the farming economy, cost millions in the refining procces, and left us with a product only a little better than DIESEL! Yes it was all natural but so what? That doesn't mean anything. Uranium is natural, doesn't mean I want constant exposure.

Which brings me to my next point. Renewable Fuels. Yesterday my Government class had a 40 minute debate on whether or not Nuclear power should be added to a power bill. The class said no because none of them knew how nuclear power worked. Granted, that's how the Senate runs anyway, but still, let those that do know explain it instead of just writing it off. Their biggest problem with what we had to say was when we started quoting military documents, and they didn't understand the military isn't as closed off as they think. It's still closed off, but not as much as Hollywood says it is.


Well children, I'm done... at least for now. I hope you've become enlightened by all of this, and hopefully you go out and research this shit on your own. Then you and I can debate this further without all the hormones flying from High School sex scenes.

So, so long, and have a happy lobotomy,
-Eliot Wolf





Tell your frieds about me and send me E-Mails
-wolfinatic@yahoo.com

Plus go to our Youtube Channel @
-www.youtube.com/warpedwolf38

See videos by Wolf Den Productions and Coming soon will be FALE University, Wolf Den Productions new vidcomic.

Rant #12: Religion and other things moronic

Ok first of all this isn't really anti-religion but rather anti idiot. Most religions I agree with to the extent of "Be good to others," "Be good to the world." Stuff like that. But when you get to the, "It's blasphemous for men to have long hair," then I start getting ticked off. Not simply because I used to have long hair, but also because JESUS DID! You mean to tell me that even the mesiah can't get into heaven.

First of all I want to tell you all you're doing it wrong. Hell wasn't always a punishment, it was just a place to go that was as far from god as you could get. But then the Islams made a pain filled eternity thus the omnipotent penis measuring contest took place, and we were stuck with The bible, now with blackmail.

On the subject of insanity, have you heard that The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn was on the banned list? Not only that but African American students are complaining when their teacher makes them read it because it refers to the "N" word. I'm serious, I had to spend an entire quarter of my high school time discussing why it was such a big deal. Now obviously these jackasses don't get the meaning behind the book. Mark Twain wrote it because of the racism he experienced in life, he grew up in the area and knew the way they acted in the time period he wrote about. It was meant to be realistic. But what do these people do? "It could have been just as powerful if he hadn't used the N word." NO IT WOULDN'T! It would have been mindless dribble with plot holes. How would you feel if someone did a period story about life nowadays and they didn't use FUCK? huh?

Sorry to anyone who was offended but dammit it needs to stop, and I think that everyone needs to know.


So long, and have a happy lobotomy.
-Eliot Wolf

Rant #9: Twilight (Continued)

WARNING: This post contains swearing. If you think you can get over that continue to read, otherwise get out.

Apperantly I didn't have enough to say the last time, because I was just told that the cock juggling thundercunt that is Stephenie Meyer has said before, that if you do not like Twighlight, you do not like any other vampire book or movie...

WHORE!!!
BITCH!!!
[Insert Insult Here]!!!

If there is one thing I've learned in life is that if you say shit like that you will rest in motherfucking HELL! So this bitch is so stuck up that she actually has the cojones to refer to her god awful excuses for literature as the defining example of your love for vampires. Really? Seriously? Even Stephen King will admit his books aren't the greatest, scariest things on the shelves, but the guy still sells books to fanboys and newbies alike. So why is it that the hormonal stalking freaks in her books make up the majority of vampire love? BECAUSE OF THE FUCKING FANDOM! That's why. Not because of good metaphors; not because of a riveting plot. It's because so many fucking whiny ass preps picked it up and said, "Gee, how wonderful." And before any of you readers say that you weren't a prep when you read it, let me tell you, IT DOESN'T MATTER! They'll still read it, because god knows no prep is going to be left out when a fad rolls around. Why do you think Deadpool was so fucked up in X-Men origins(Wolverine Rant coming Soon)? It's because so many people don't know who the fuck he is, so they have to 'dumb him down' for the audience.

So anyway, I just thought you two people may want to read this shit that I have to say. Hopefully it comes to some use.

So long and have a happy lobotomy everyone.
-Eliot Wolf




Tell your friends about me and even send me E-Mails at:
wolfinatic@yahoo.com
It's what any real fan would do.

Rant #11: Forum/RP writers

Todays rant, brought to you by the letter asdfasdn nv. And your fellow "writers."

Okay, I've been trying to get people who know their way around a dictionary and a thesaurus to help me with a new RP that I can never seem to find. I told them that what I really need is people with grammatical skill, and that size wasn't the issue. So now no one wants in. They say that I'm not honoring advanced lit and throwing their copies of whatever $2 paper back they've written lately in my face. Look people, I don't know who you've been reading but when I read I don't want an entire ten pages devoted to what the freakin' cat looks like. Hemingway, one of the greatest writers of all time, was known for writing only the bare minimum. Personaly, I write way too much and that causes my readers to get bored. Look you have to know the threshold, and if you think that takes four paragraphs than okay. If you can fit "He moved the exact muscles and atoms in his knuckles and bones to push the air out of the way in front of him to quickly bring the entire concoction to the meat flesh of his opponents frontal, and upper body," into "He punched the guy," then more power to you. Like I'm saying, too much is too much. Although, on the oppisite side is true as well, if you simply say, "They fight (George Lucas style)," then you will NEVER GET PUBLISHED!

Anyway I needed to get this out. I'm a writer too, and people who claim quantity over quality piss me off. There is no judgement or reason to it. All they think it is is writing for the sake of words. Let me tell you something, if that's all you want to do, then you might as well hit your head on the keyboard, then after you've hit every key at least seven times hit Ctrl+C then hit Ctrl+V a few times. You'll rack up an easy fifteen chapters that way, and hey, you haven't even finished getting to the climax...

"sdfjoajksdf;asdfjkldfjkslsdfjalsdfjlaljkadgvnksakljkl;sdfa"

...there we go.

So I hope I have thoroughly pissed off any writers out there and I sure hope that you all give me your honest feedback, because god knows I crave that shit.


So long everybody, and have a happy Lobotomy.

Rock On-
Eliot Wolf

Rant #10"Not all muslims are terrorists, but all terrorists are muslims." -Anne Coulton, unknown date

Okay this happened awhile ago (and that's when I started this post), but I'm going to summon up all those happy hate juices to make this thing as beautiful as possible.

My friend Knaight and I are both hard core atheists and we just love making fun of some of the ignorant things famous Christians have to say. For instance did you know that there is a website with four videos (FOUR VIDEOS!!!) that use science to prove that stories like, Noah's Ark, and Creationism are One-Hundred percent reliable. Like the fact that the grand canyons begining is at a lower elevation than its middle. Right, because water can't come from any other direction right (RAIN)? Then they state that science says that the universe was created by a high concentration of "Nothing," and "Time." It's as if we've been looking for the god particle for nothing. But back to the point I was trying to deliver in the TITLE the reason I'm here is that later he showed me a website called The American Taliban. It lists a whole bunch of right wing nut-jobs and christian extremists that say things like "When science and the Bible differ, science has obviously misinterpreted its data." - Henry Morris.

This bullshit just pisses me off. Religion was meant to tell people how stuff works and how you should live, not make you obsesive and delusional all rapped up together in crazy goo. If you tried to pull this stuff in a sane and logical world you'd be locked up with the rest of the freaks. Now I'm sorry but seriously come on, are you really going to doubt that
these people are sane... at all?


Well I think I've pissed you all off enough and I hope to get your honest feedback. So, like always, so long, and have a happy lobotomy.

Rock On-
Eliot Wolf

Rant #9: Twighlight

Okay I wanna start this off by saying that I know, for sure, that I'm going to piss off some of my one fans... but I don't care. Who would I be if I didn't piss off everyone I ever came in contact with?

Anyway, the main reason why I even bring the subject up is that for the last week my friend has advised me to stay away from him because he's being forced by his girlfriend to read it. Now first off, if you have to force someone to read a book, doesn't that in itself throw up a red flag? I mean if you have to use sex as an incentive that usually means there is no other option... maybe I've said too much.

Now I don't want you people to think that I hate this movie because it's popular, or that it's about vampire... it's mostly because it's about vampires, but that's a legitimate hatred alright. The biggest, and I mean BIG-EST reason why I hate this series is because of the lack of research on the bitch's (and yes my children I said bitch) part. I mean who hard is it to find out that vampires don't SPARKLE! Damn, why? I know why, she's mocking those of us who do care, who do pay attention to common mythology. God damn. And now I have friends who have read the books telling me how I should. People who's judgement I used to enjoy are telling me to read that crap. So now I'm making it my mission to never read it. You fans have done this. Now I will never read it. If I get so much as a Twighlight button, I will sacrifice it to every single pagan god of literature in hopes that they will notice the abomination.

Okay well now that I have that out of my system, I want to say this last hopefully sympathatic comment to all my readers who are the origional fans of Twighlight. Please don't take the thing seriously. It was written as a bridge between the supernatural and romance genres of literature, and maybe perhaps the author was going for a sort of metaphor when writing all of the powers. But understand that I don't mean these things all because of the writing but because of the fans pushing it on me...

no...

You know what screw it. I don't care. Just keep reading that slap in the face to the english lanuage. I'm going to go over here and remain sane. Or at least as sane as I can.


So have a happy lobotomy everybody.

Rock On,
Eliot Wolf

Rant #8- B4d 6r4mm3r

Alright, seriously, this has gone on long enough. You know what I'm talking about? Bad grammar. Everywhere I look, online, in the halls at school, even on TV. Okay yes mostly Cops (and what can you expect their mostly white trash hillbillies or white trash gangsta's) but still. That doesn't give you the right to say, "Your english is good, you understand. You speak english good." AHHHHHHHHH!!!

Hell just last night I was watching a show on PBS. It was talking about how mormons were helping Gay Rights (I know right), and they were talking to a minister. Now I can't get an exact quote, but the guy said "unprepared."... think about that for a second.

Then the narrator REPEATED it.

AHHH!!! Why PBS? Why!?

Okay this isn't neccesarily a rant, (I need my pills) but still, it needs to be said.


So please, help me save synical human's sanity. Spay and Neutar your idiots (with bad grammer)



Rock on-
Eliot Wolf

Rant #7- Sleepy Rant

I believe myself to be neutral in all endeavors

I believe that the war in Iraq ruined all wars.

I personally love blowing shit up

Cops and lawyers are two good ideas, poorly executed

Religion and politics are two bad ideas well executed, much to the dismay of humanity and myself

\Morals and ethics are two things humanity no longer has

any human who says they have morals and ethics is trying to cover his own ass, or is selling something

even the hippies are corrupted with ignorance, and don't pay attention to anything going on in this world.

why?

because they are all trying to keep up with each other

Why stay pure in a society that kills the pure

it's adaptation that's what it is.

we've adapted away all traces of human dignity

why?

because we grew too soon

because we didn't give ourselves room to think

because we enslaved any and all races that opposed us

because we killed those that wouldn't conform\\\

so now what

now we have a bunch of moral less people out there claiming to be sent from god.

no one was sent from god

god was made up to explain things

like why the hell do seeds turn into plants

why does the sun go away at night?

why am I here

I’ll tell you why you're here

you were here to replace the void that was made when raptors died out

instead you became an insane race that took over the world before you could evolve appropriately

lack of morals

and lack of common sense

it's come to the point were you can't do anything because our un-evolved law makers don't trust the average humans common sense

and why should he

under our watch we've destroyed countless civilizations plus countless resources

why

to make the world a better place

Rant #1: Emo's

Emo's are some of the whiniest people I know. Sorry to any emo's out there reading this but my god people. If you're going to cry about something cry about something important. I'm sick and tired of emo's all over being emo just because they can. That's not non-conforming, that's F***ing marching with the rest of the freakin' group. There are a few people though have the right to be emo. Johnny Cash, Martin Luther King Jr., Julius Caesar. Hell the guy was killed by his best friend... and twenty other people.



I'm just tired of all my friends saying their emo. Not only do they have no reason to be emo, but the always try to drag me in with them. "You have sush a depressing life." So what? Yeah I have a depressing life, just like everybody else in the world. I'm poor, just like everybody else in the world. I'm jobless, just like half of america. I'm american, just like 25% of america [lol].

And the slitting of the wrists thing. What's that about. I would never want to do that. It hurts. But I guess they like it like that. I say we dip all the Emo's in the world in lemon juice and see which ones start to squirm.

Whatever. I think I've ranted enough. Sorry to any emo's out there but you guys had it coming.


Rock on,

Eliot Wolf